The world needs more goody bags

Maybe it’s the time change (or perhaps unchecked consumption of carbohydrates, let’s be honest) but I’m lazy today. How lazy? Tried to eat yogurt with a fork lazy. That went about as well as you can imagine—another sweater for the dry cleaning pile. It should come as no surprise that, in my slackened state, I’m resorting to the weekend recap.

Friday
What I should have done: get up, feed Olivia, take her for a walk in the park, come home, shower, have lunch, and do errands (grocery store, CVS, find a black lace shirt for Red and Steve’s Halloween soiree, reward with Starbucks).

What I did: got up early and showered before Olivia even woke up. After her bottle it was too early to go anywhere, so I trolled through our DVR recordings and watched Intervention and Discovery Atlas: Australia. I gave Olivia a bath, got her dressed and fed her again. We left the house at noon. Instead of doing errands as planned, I just… drove around… aimlessly. I started out on Route 38 in Woburn and went north through Wilmington, Tewksbury, Dracut, and Lowell. That took about an hour. I kept thinking I’d stop at a grocery store along the way, but all I passed were Market Baskets. I hate Market Basket. By the time I hit Lowell I was incredibly annoyed at myself and wanting to find a highway, but instead I managed to loop through Methuen, back through Dracut and Lowell, and into Chelmsford, where I ended up on Route 3 and had to go all the way to Burlington to pick up 95. It was the biggest waste of time and gas and I have no idea why I did it. I ended up going home, feeding Olivia, feeding myself, and then getting back in the car. While I trolled the stores for a black lace shirt, my poor daughter urped Similac all over herself. Then, in both CVS and Shaw’s, middle-aged women called her an adorable little boy (apparently baby girls have to be wearing rosebud pink at all times, or else they are automatically assigned a penis). I never did make it to Starbucks. Wouldn’t have enjoyed it anyway.

Saturday
We woke up early again. It was a monsoon out all day. I did a little kitchen experimentation because I saw something on 30 Minute Meals that I wanted to bring to Red's: candy sushi rolls made with fruit roll-ups, Rice Krispies treats and Twizzlers. Good thing I didn't tell her, because it was a dismal failure. I did everything the directions said, right down to heating the knife blade in boiling water, but it didn’t work. Even with a Ginsu knife, I am convinced you could not slice through all that high fructose corn syrup and partially hydrogenated oil and expect it to keep shape. All the knife did was pinch a fruit roll-up seal and squish the marshmallowy Rice Krispies out the ends. There are things I would definitely do differently next time, if there is a next time, and there probably will be, because I hate the idea that I could be foiled by a Rachael Ray recipe.

Later on we got ourselves ready for the party. I went as a dark angel: aforementioned black lace shirt, black pants, black boots, black devil horns, black pitchfork wand, burgundy feather boa and black and burgundy wings. Joe was Father Time: black robe, white beard, top hat, pimp cane, and clock around his neck. We both had a great time. There were some new faces mixed with the familiar, everyone was fun and friendly to talk to, and there was Wachusett blueberry in the fridge. The haunted house was hilarious, and probably scary, although I was tipsy when I went through so I can't trust my recollection.

Sunday
Olivia did well with the time change. So much for our extra hour of sleep, though. We got home from the party at 1:00 a.m. and she was up by 6:30 a.m. But we were able to stretch her feedings throughout the day so that the schedule we’ve all been enjoying was minimally disrupted. Joe and I needed naps yesterday to catch up ourselves. I napped during football and he napped in the evening. It was a relaxing non-day. Pajamas, football, Harrow’s chicken pie (Never had one? They’re delicious—the very essence of comfort food. Go out right now and get one. Route 28 in Reading. I’ll wait here.) Joe massacred opponents on PSP while I watched:

• True Life: I’m a Staten Island Girl
• Nova (scientists believe that the Earth’s magnetic field is preparing to reverse itself. The unstable field may weaken up to 90% and double our exposure to solar radiation. Compasses will go crazy for a while before eventually pointing south, and humans will be more vulnerable to cancer, but there will be amazing displays of aurora borealis.)
• Celebrity Paranormal Project, which I need to stop watching. What is wrong with me? It’s the last thing I need to see right before I go to bed. I had to watch an episode of Sex and the City afterwards as an antidote.

Today
This morning the sun was already bright as hell when I left for work. I’m not ready for a chorus of “Good Day Sunshine” at 6:45 a.m. Predawn darkness better matches my mood as I wade into the Red Sea of taillights crawling south on 128. Did you know that you can see the Boston skyline in Burlington if you look left at just the right time? I look every day. Usually it’s a lovely offering of soft pinkish dawn silhouetting the city. This morning it was like witnessing a supernova while surrounded by a thousand mirrors.