1. What is your best friend's mom's name?
Mom McMommington
2. What body part do you hate the most?
It’s a tie between my upper arms and my stomach, a.k.a. “where the cheese sits” as one witty What Not to Wear contestant once put it.
3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?
I never had a hot teacher. There was a hot English/poetry teacher at my high school, but I was never his student.
4. Have you ever made out in a movie theater?
No, never anything more than hand holding or leg rubbing. It has never occurred to me to go to a crappy movie and sit in the last row with the intention of making out. I’m one of those people who likes to get there early, get the best seats, and not get up or talk.
5. What body part do you wash first?
I paid attention to this today. First, I shampoo my hair. Then I wash my face. Then I put conditioner in my hair and leave it while I take care of the rest.
6. Do you have any piercings?
Three holes in my left ear, two in my right. I haven’t put anything in the extra holes in years.
7. Is your driveway steep?
No, it’s flat.
8. What's your favorite flavored Pringles?
I like the ranch ones even though they give you horrible breath for about 8 days. Are they still out there?
9. Have you ever been tied up?
Yes! And handcuffed.
13. Have you ever had two dates in one night?
No, unfortunately. That sounds fun.
14. How many times have you been cursed at?
Plenty. On the road, hundreds of times, if not thousands. It makes me smile.
15. Which shoe do you put on first?
Right.
16. How old are you?
29 years, 7 months, 4 days.
17. Have you ever been to a gay bar?
Yes, the best gay bar ever. It was in New Hampshire, on the rotary where Route 1 and I-95 meet, almost in Maine. Amanda and I went with this kid from my apartment building. He was a member and had to write our names in a book. There was a lot of paneling and flannel and a guy who looked like Mr. Slave dancing in a cage. People thought Amanda and I made a cute couple. The kid we were with saw his ex and got all dramatic. When a guy tried to give him his number, he took it, then ripped it up as soon as the guy walked away and said, “Whatever, you’re old.”
18. Have you ever had any friends with benefits?
I’m starting to overanalyze this question. Is a friend with benefits anybody you’re casually sleeping with but aren’t dating, or do you have to have an established platonic friendship with them before you start sleeping together? I can’t say I’ve really done the latter. I was asked to once, all proper like, but I turned him down.
19. Is there one thing all of your love interests have had in common?
They were all guys. I believe they’ve all had brown hair.
20. Did you French kiss before you were 16?
I think I was 16. So, technically, no.
21. Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe-hunting?
No. What is snipe hunting?
22. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?
Lately it’s been Harry Potter—I just finished the new book.
3. Have you ever had a song written about you?
Since I don’t know the Allman Brothers personally, probably not.
25. Have you ever found anything in your parents' bedroom that was questionable?
No. But I’ve found lots of stuff in other people’s bedrooms around town.
26. What was your childhood nickname?
Missy.
27. When is the last time you played the air guitar?
Probably the last time I did a Bill and Ted “Wyld Stallions” impression, so like 1989?
28. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sex's locker room?
No. I would, though. Why not?
29. What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
I gave somebody something. Oh, well, I guess I wasn’t driving, but the car was moving.
30. Have you ever bitten your toenails?
Ahhhh – no.
31. How do you normally eat your Oreo cookies?
I don’t take them apart. I dunk them in milk until they collapse.
33. Name something you do when you're alone that you wouldn't do in front of others?
I feel like I’m on Family Feud. Masturbation is the number one answer!
36. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk?
Around 4-5, usually, mixed drinks or pints. I don’t like getting drunk on wine – gives me massive headaches.
37. Why are you doing this survey?
Because I love being solicited for my opinion. I like filling stuff out… hotel comment cards, the census, personality quizzes, even those demographic surveys that come in the box when you buy electronics. And I love reading others’ answers.
41. Do you have any strange phobias?
There’s the no-looking-in-mirrors-at-night thing, which is part of a general phobia that something supernatural will reveal itself to me in the dark.
42. Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
A button, when I was little.
46. Have you ever gotten caught sleeping while on a date?
No. Does this happen? It seems like there are some words missing, like “gotten caught [by the cops] sleeping [with someone in a public place] while on a date?” In which case, no again, but close.
47. Have you ever played naked twister?
Jesus, no.
48. Have you ever been drunk at school or work?
No, but I’ve been hung over in class plenty of times.
49. Have you ever found your date's brother or sister to be hotter then your date?
Nope.
50. How many Bryces do you know?
One.
Mom McMommington
2. What body part do you hate the most?
It’s a tie between my upper arms and my stomach, a.k.a. “where the cheese sits” as one witty What Not to Wear contestant once put it.
3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?
I never had a hot teacher. There was a hot English/poetry teacher at my high school, but I was never his student.
4. Have you ever made out in a movie theater?
No, never anything more than hand holding or leg rubbing. It has never occurred to me to go to a crappy movie and sit in the last row with the intention of making out. I’m one of those people who likes to get there early, get the best seats, and not get up or talk.
5. What body part do you wash first?
I paid attention to this today. First, I shampoo my hair. Then I wash my face. Then I put conditioner in my hair and leave it while I take care of the rest.
6. Do you have any piercings?
Three holes in my left ear, two in my right. I haven’t put anything in the extra holes in years.
7. Is your driveway steep?
No, it’s flat.
8. What's your favorite flavored Pringles?
I like the ranch ones even though they give you horrible breath for about 8 days. Are they still out there?
9. Have you ever been tied up?
Yes! And handcuffed.
13. Have you ever had two dates in one night?
No, unfortunately. That sounds fun.
14. How many times have you been cursed at?
Plenty. On the road, hundreds of times, if not thousands. It makes me smile.
15. Which shoe do you put on first?
Right.
16. How old are you?
29 years, 7 months, 4 days.
17. Have you ever been to a gay bar?
Yes, the best gay bar ever. It was in New Hampshire, on the rotary where Route 1 and I-95 meet, almost in Maine. Amanda and I went with this kid from my apartment building. He was a member and had to write our names in a book. There was a lot of paneling and flannel and a guy who looked like Mr. Slave dancing in a cage. People thought Amanda and I made a cute couple. The kid we were with saw his ex and got all dramatic. When a guy tried to give him his number, he took it, then ripped it up as soon as the guy walked away and said, “Whatever, you’re old.”
18. Have you ever had any friends with benefits?
I’m starting to overanalyze this question. Is a friend with benefits anybody you’re casually sleeping with but aren’t dating, or do you have to have an established platonic friendship with them before you start sleeping together? I can’t say I’ve really done the latter. I was asked to once, all proper like, but I turned him down.
19. Is there one thing all of your love interests have had in common?
They were all guys. I believe they’ve all had brown hair.
20. Did you French kiss before you were 16?
I think I was 16. So, technically, no.
21. Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe-hunting?
No. What is snipe hunting?
22. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?
Lately it’s been Harry Potter—I just finished the new book.
3. Have you ever had a song written about you?
Since I don’t know the Allman Brothers personally, probably not.
25. Have you ever found anything in your parents' bedroom that was questionable?
No. But I’ve found lots of stuff in other people’s bedrooms around town.
26. What was your childhood nickname?
Missy.
27. When is the last time you played the air guitar?
Probably the last time I did a Bill and Ted “Wyld Stallions” impression, so like 1989?
28. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sex's locker room?
No. I would, though. Why not?
29. What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
I gave somebody something. Oh, well, I guess I wasn’t driving, but the car was moving.
30. Have you ever bitten your toenails?
Ahhhh – no.
31. How do you normally eat your Oreo cookies?
I don’t take them apart. I dunk them in milk until they collapse.
33. Name something you do when you're alone that you wouldn't do in front of others?
I feel like I’m on Family Feud. Masturbation is the number one answer!
36. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk?
Around 4-5, usually, mixed drinks or pints. I don’t like getting drunk on wine – gives me massive headaches.
37. Why are you doing this survey?
Because I love being solicited for my opinion. I like filling stuff out… hotel comment cards, the census, personality quizzes, even those demographic surveys that come in the box when you buy electronics. And I love reading others’ answers.
41. Do you have any strange phobias?
There’s the no-looking-in-mirrors-at-night thing, which is part of a general phobia that something supernatural will reveal itself to me in the dark.
42. Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
A button, when I was little.
46. Have you ever gotten caught sleeping while on a date?
No. Does this happen? It seems like there are some words missing, like “gotten caught [by the cops] sleeping [with someone in a public place] while on a date?” In which case, no again, but close.
47. Have you ever played naked twister?
Jesus, no.
48. Have you ever been drunk at school or work?
No, but I’ve been hung over in class plenty of times.
49. Have you ever found your date's brother or sister to be hotter then your date?
Nope.
50. How many Bryces do you know?
One.
2 Comments:
You mean you never wished, even for a moment, that you met Ruthie first?
Well, she is hot, but I'm not Jewish! It could only lead to heartbreak... or conversion, which, NO.
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