No recess

I've just been preoccupied. I've been reading this, 656 dense, indulgent pages detailing the history of Nirvana, staying up too late, covering 200 pages a night. And when I haven't been reading, I've been listening to Bleach, or Nevermind, or the box set rarities (Beans, seriously, what the fuck?) and basically "About a Girl," "Sappy" and "Lounge Act" on loop. It's like 1991 all over again. Sometimes this happens, the old obsession, the old longing for a scene that never existed the way we were spoon-fed, that was more commodity then camaraderie. What prompted an introverted junkie to become so many people's hero? What made a bunch of loud, buzzy, pop-punk songs anthemic for so many kids? What was it to me, to any of us, outside of MTV and art class and the mall? What made that time, those people, those ideals so important, any more so than us, our friends, our creations?